


i just wish that you were here, now

by sapphictomaz



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, M/M, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 12:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17981006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphictomaz/pseuds/sapphictomaz
Summary: Immediately after the Season One finale, Klaus finds himself back in 1968, and is forced to so some soul-searching while dealing with the rest of his siblings and the memories he has of Dave from the first time around.Title from "Wish You Were Here" by Marianas Trench.





	i just wish that you were here, now

**Author's Note:**

> listen...i love this show and i love klaus...but i don't know how to write these characters yet....also yes some of this is far-fetched but..im soft for the gay so i wrote this anyways

**i.**

In one moment they’re inside the concert hall, the moon hanging overhead, and the next they’re not.

Klaus is confident that he’s at fault when Five’s blue vortex fades away and they’re left standing in the middle of a suburban road in America, but he’s not feeling up to sharing this. Instead, he lets Five snatch a newspaper off someone’s doorstep and watches his brother’s eyes grow wide when he reads the headlines.

“It’s 1968,” Five groans, crumpling the paper in his hands before discarding it to the road below. “This is  _ ridiculous _ .”

“You still look thirteen,” Diego comments. It’s an offhand remark, but it ignites the banter in his siblings that Klaus has secretly come to admire. He lets them go at it, choosing to silently snatch the newspaper up from where Five threw it. 

_ December 24th, 1968. _

The laugh starts low in his throat, guttural, almost. He feels Ben’s hand on his shoulder, feels his presence like a silhouette behind him. It’s nice, comforting. Maybe he should be sober more often.

Maybe it’s because he’s sober that the sobs he’s feeling inside turn into audible laughter, gradually growing in pitch and decibel, finally ringing loud enough for his family to stare at him. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Luther finally says. 

Klaus turns his head to the sky and stretches his arms out to try and fly away. In the same instant, a snowflake hits his palm and a tear falls from his eye. “Haven’t you heard?” he shouts. “It’s Christmas Eve!”

 

**ii.**

_ Klaus gets high so that he doesn’t dream. _

_ If he lets himself dream, the dead turn his sleep into a constant nightmare. It’s as if they’re easier to reach when he’s not awake, and they know it too, constantly screaming next to his ears for him to notice them. They wait in the shadows when he’s awake, but when he no longer has control, they ache to be free. _

_ It’s not as if he can blame them for it.  _

_ The first time he’s in 1968, he’s in the army now and they’re not so keen on the contraband substances - at least, not yet. That first night, he lies wide awake in some tent next to twenty other men, all of seemingly sound asleep. They’re all haunted, but in a different way. _

_ He hasn’t even seen Ben yet. Normally, Klaus doesn’t have to do anything for Ben to appear, he’s just -  _ there. _ But he’s scared. He’s scared and he doesn’t want to see any of them and he doesn’t want to be here and he doesn’t -  _

_ “You look like you have a lot on your mind.” _

_ He looks to his right, and there’s the soldier from the bus that morning - last night, maybe? - staring at him from the next bed over. Dave. His name is Dave.  _

_ “You could say that,” Klaus replies.  _

_ “The first week is the worst,” Dave says. “You need some company?” _

_ He doesn’t say no, and then it’s him and Dave, Klaus and Dave - he likes saying it - in one bed against the whole world and he’s not so scared anymore.  _

_ The next morning, Ben’s back. _

 

**iii.**

It starts snowing pretty heavily after that, so they pool the funds they have together and find their way to the closest hotel, which, luckily, had one room vacant. “Merry Christmas,” the attendant says, just as he’s closing up the office, no doubt eager to get home to his own family.

Vanya’s still out cold. When they’re sure the room is safe, Luther gently places her down on the only bed and then sinks to the floor, joining the rest of them on the carpet. He’s been holding her the entire time, but they don’t say anything about it. They just sit. They sit, catching their breath, watching the snow pile up outside.

It’s not till long after the clock hits midnight that Five breaks the silence. “I was trying to send us to 1989.”

Allison’s head shoots up and her eyes widen - clearly, she understands. Klaus thinks he knows as well, but he doesn’t say so. 

“Why?” Diego asks after a minute or so of silence.

It’s as if Five doesn’t have it in him to answer with snark. “I didn’t have time to plan it out, but I thought one of two things would happen for sure - either we’d all reverse in age like I did, and we could do everything all over again, or, we could make sure our father never adopted Vanya.”

It seems so cruel to say, but Klaus knows better than anyone that the best things are the most unfair. 

“I don’t understand how that would change anything. Vanya would still have powers, and without us, she’d never be able to figure out how to manage them,” Luther objects.

“Yes, she’d still have powers,” Five agrees. “But wouldn’t it be better to make sure she has a loving home? A proper family? We can’t change old Reginald’s parenting, but we could make Vanya’s life...better. In every way. And if she still wound up losing control, we could always step in.”

It’s not a foolproof plan, but they are a bunch of fools.

Allison places a hand on Five’s and smiles, indicating her approval. Perhaps begrudgingly, the rest of them all agree that they do not have a better plan, yet - “But now we’re in 1968.”

“21 years off. It must be because I took you all with me,” Five decides, then laughs bitterly. “Anyone have an attachment to 1968, then?”

Later, they’ll finally fall asleep, on the floor of a musty old hotel room. Vanya will wake, only for a moment, and she will see her siblings and she will not understand why they have not abandoned her, but she will be grateful that they are there. Klaus will see this, but he will give no indication that he is aware of her gaze. After everything, he is not going to disrupt the first moment of true peace his sister has felt in thirty years.  

 

**iv.**

_ Klaus is pretty adaptable - at least, he likes to think he is. This would be the reason why he doesn’t try and run when he finds himself fighting for America in the Vietnam War, twenty-one years before he’s meant to be born. Somewhat comically, this is the situation he finds himself in, so this is the situation he’ll live with. _

_ Ben finds the whole thing hilarious. “I’m a time travelling ghost!” _

_ “No, you’re just a ghost.” _

_ “Please, we all know I’m more than that.” _

_ Yeah. He is.  _

_ Klaus figures that he’ll ride out this situation for as long as it lasts, until the magic briefcase decides it’s time to return to the 21st century. If it never does, then he knows no one will miss him. He figures he can last as long as necessary - he has Ben, and worst case, he has confirmation that there’s something  _ else _ after it all ends.  _

_ Dave is a complication. Something he hasn’t quite adapted to. Something he’s not sure he ever will. _

_ Something he’s not sure he wants to get used to and that’s sobering enough. _

 

**v.**

In the early hours of the morning, Klaus gives up the facade of sleep and stretches his legs, stepping onto the hotel balcony. It’s covered in snow and the wind is howling, passing its chill over his body, but he doesn’t retreat. His choice is to let the cold eat his skin or to find something to shoot up with, and Ben’s presence at his left makes it an easy one.

It’s not long before he hears the door slide open shut, softly and quickly, and Vanya joins him at his right. They don’t look at each other - they just stand, side by side, hands over the balcony, faces turning red from the cold. 

“I, um - I noticed you went missing a lot,” she finally says. 

“Hmm?”

“As a kid. When we were younger. I was always watching you guys, and I - I noticed you weren’t with the others a lot.”

_ Oh. _ In that moment, Klaus longs for  _ something _ , even just a cigarette. “That would be thanks to our Father Dearest.”

A pause, then, “I’m sorry.”

It’s 1968, the ghosts are at bay for Christmas Day, and “you have nothing to be sorry for.”

He’s never that sincere. He doesn’t know  _ how _ to be sincere. But he can’t tell whether he’s crying because of the cold or because, in all that time, no one has ever absolved Vanya of her guilt for something that she never even did. 

“Apparently I cause the apocalypse, so I think I do, but...thanks.” A bitter laugh both begins and ends that sentence, and he’d refute it if he could.

“Oh, I think we all had a hand in that.”

“I also almost killed Allison. She’ll probably never have her ability back. And not to mention that shitty book I wrote.”

He looks to Ben for guidance. Like always, his brother says nothing and everything in one pointed gaze. 

“She might never tell you this,” Klaus says, still looking away, “but Allison hated her ability with a passion. She hated the person it turned her into. Honestly? She’s probably grateful.”

“Grateful that she’ll never be able to speak again?”

He turns, then, a shaking hand - it’s  _ cold _ \- reaching out to touch her shoulder. “If you took my ability away,” he says, “I’d thank you until I died.”

And she nods, and pretends she understands, but Klaus doesn’t know what else to say so they just stand there, for a moment, reassured by each other’s presence. 

 

**vi.**

_ He can’t read Vietnamese, so as far as he’s concerned they’re in some random bar in a random lull of fighting and Dave’s pressed up against him, Klaus’ back against the wall and he never wants to return to the present and it all feels so chaotic but absolutely none of this feels random. _

_ “We shouldn’t be doing this,” Dave whispers, but he keeps kissing Klaus anyways. _

_ ‘Don’t ruin the moment,’ he wants to say, but he stays quiet out of fear that speaking will, actually, ruin the moment and yes, okay, maybe he’s not quite sober in this alcoholic bar, but it’s only alcohol this time and as far as this addict is concerned, that’s very different than what he used to use to not be sober, and he hasn’t seen this crystal-clear in a very long time and he hasn’t seen Ben in hours and he thinks it has something to do with the body that’s pushing his back into a wall. _

_ It’s all very confusing. _

_ But he hasn’t seen Ben in hours, and he thinks it’s not because he doesn’t miss him, but because his brother knows that for the first time in a very long time, he is unapologetically happy. _

_ “We shouldn’t be doing this,” Dave repeats, breaking away, but leaving his hands on the wall at either side of Klaus to stop his possible escape. _

_ “Shouldn’t we?” _

_ “What?” _

_ “We could die tomorrow, you know.” _

_ Pause, then - “Yeah, of course I know. I’ve been here a lot longer than you, Hargreeves.” _

_ Klaus delicately lifts a hand and places it on Dave’s chin, directing his gaze into his own. He holds them there, then, “You’ve been waiting for me, then, hmm?” _

_ And it’s all very confusing, but this isn’t.  _

 

**vii.**

It’s Luther that ruins Christmas morning that year, like every year, but this time it’s not his fault. 

_ (Yes,  _ Klaus has always harboured intrinsic jealousy over the affection their father gave to Luther and Allison while denying it to the rest of them, but he’s slowly coming to realize they’re just as messed up as he is).

Still, it’s Luther that gathers them up that morning and declares that it’s time to decide their next course of action.Vanya’s professed her apologies, they’ve all assured her that it’s fine, and Five has repeated over and over that there is still time to prevent the apocalypse. And now, well - 

“Now what?” Diego says, back against the wall, absentmindedly throwing a knife up in the air and then catching it by the blade, over and over again.

“I guess we go to 1989,” Luther says, glancing over at Five. “Right?”

“Not so fast,” Five sighs. “I obviously can’t take five other people with me when I time travel. I can barely do it myself, even after all these years. We could miss the mark again, and I don’t want to take that chance.”

Luther’s eyes narrow. With his stature, he looks like a wolf about to embark on the hunt. Klaus thinks that image is catastrophically hilarious. “You’re saying we’re stuck in 1968?”

“Sorry,” Five says, “but this way you will all get to live the normal lives you’ve always wanted, right?”

There’s a collective moment of silence before the room erupts into slight chaos. One of Diego’s knives lands in the wall opposite him out of anger. Luther starts yelling, because that’s all he feels he knows how to do, and Allison frantically grabs the scratchpad in her jacket pocket and scrawls,  _ I have to get back to my child! _

“I’m  _ sorry! _ ” Five cries, standing and silencing the room. “But you all lived, and now you can continue to live. And Allison - if we don’t stop this, then Claire won’t live either way. That’s just the way it is.”

“ _ That’s just the way it is? _ Oh, you’ve got some nerve-”

And it continues this way for much too long, while Klaus and Vanya sit next to each other in silence, doomed to forever be the siblings without a voice. 

 

**viii.**

_ The same night, Klaus and Dave lie next to each other and try to look through the fabric of the tent at the stars.  _

_ “If we get out of this,” Dave says softly, “where are you going to call home?” _

_ Klaus hums his uncertainty. “Not sure I have somewhere to call home, these days.” _

_ Dave turns his head to stare directly at him, face bathed in faint moonlight, and Klaus swears to all the gods out there that he had never seen a sight so beautiful. “You could come home with me...if you want.” _

_ He smiles, watching love fill Dave’s eyes and hoping - knowing - that his expression reflects the same. “I’d like that.” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Yeah.” _

 

**ix.**

“I’m going to 1989  _ alone _ ,” Five says, “and that’s the end of the discussion. Good luck with everything. I hope I’ll see you all then.”

Shaking his head, Luther reaches out to grab Five’s shoulder as if to stop him or to force him to take Luther with him, but in a flash of blue energy, he’s gone and Luther only grabs a fistful of air. 

“ _ Damnit! _ ” he yells, growling and stomping his way onto the balcony in frustration. With sadness and regret in her eyes, Allison follows him, a desperate attempt to get him to calm down. 

“Well,” Diego says to break the silence, “you two have been awfully quiet.”

Klaus and Vanya exchange yet another humoured glance. “That’s what happens when your father locks you up for most of your childhood, I suppose,” he says.

“Wait - what?”

“Oh, never mind that, brother dear,” Klaus says, waving a hand in the exaggerated way of his. “Worry about your future plans, I suppose.”

Diego scoffs, continuing to throw knives into the opposite wall. “I don’t really care about any of that. First, though, we have to find somewhere to stay.”

Very quietly, afraid to offend, Vanya whispers, “‘We?’”

Diego pauses his knife-throwing only to look her in the eye. “Yeah, of course.”

“He’s right,” Ben says, breaking his silence from behind Klaus. 

“For the record, Ben agrees,” he relays, “and so do I. Someone gather the other two from out there. Let’s go  _ shopping _ .”

It’s even easier than they thought it would be to gather funds. Almost everything is closed, due to it being Christmas, but Luther manages to gamble on just the right race outcomes and they come away with just enough to put a down payment on a beat-down, old property at the edge of town. Just in time for the new year, they’re settling into their new home. 

Secluded enough so that they can practice and refine their abilities, large enough to house all five of them, and run-down enough to avoid attention. The real estate market in 1968 was leagues better than the twenty-first century. 

“I think we’re going to be okay,” he says aloud, to no one in particular. 

“You were always going to be,” Ben says from somewhere beyond.

 

**x.**

_ On the convoy rides to their next destination, Klaus and Dave develop their game of questions to avoid the anxiety and pressing terror of combat. They’d take turns, asking each other meaningless questions that had no purpose other than to distract their racing minds.  _

_ “Favourite holiday?” _

_ “My favourite holiday is Christmas,” Dave says, with much certainty. “Christmas Eve, to be more specific.” _

_ Klaus laughs. “Is Christmas Eve a holiday?” _

_ “Dunno,” Dave replies, chuckling as well. “But I think it should be. Where I’m from, it’s always snowed by then, so the world is a winter wonderland. Family’s already in town, and nobody is sick of each other yet. There’s a feeling of hope in the air, as the kids are so excited for Christmas morning, and everyone is having a great time. It’s the best day of the year.” _

_ Klaus nods in response. He’s never celebrated Christmas, let alone Christmas Eve, but he understands the sentiment. “That’s really sweet.” _

_ “Hopefully, you can spend Christmas Eve with me this year.” _

_ “Now that sounds sweeter.” _

_ Out of view of everyone else in the convoy - who aren’t paying attention to them, anyways - Dave takes Klaus’ hand and runs his fingers over it, then laces them through it. “Good.” _

_ They smile, and Klaus takes in the moment, and relishes in the thought of spending his very first holiday with the person he loves most in the world.  _

_ “Anyways! What’s your favourite holiday?” _

_ “Today.” _

_ “Really? Today?” _

_ “I’m spending it with you, so it might as well be.” _

_ “Oh, when did you get to be so romantic?” _

_ And he really can’t answer that question.  _

 

**xi.**

“Okay,” Klaus says, standing in front of Vanya in their backyard just as the sun began to rise. “What do you know about your powers, if anything?” 

He and Vanya have decided to help each other discover how to control their new abilities, while Luther and Diego explored the town and Allison dealt with the house. Luther and Diego were somewhat of a volatile couple to pair up, but Allison was still trying to learn sign language, and as of yet couldn’t communicate well with the outside world. Mostly out of her own discomfort, she volunteered to stay behind and watch over the two more…. _ chaotic _ siblings. 

“I think it’s something to do with sound,” she says, slowly, still unsure of every word she says. “Like - with sound waves? Maybe? I’ve had it under control since... _ then _ , but I think that’s because of when Allison fired that gun next to my ear.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I - I can’t hear anything in that ear anymore.”

“Oh.  _ Oh! _ So it diluted your ability, you think?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay,” Klaus says, nodding. “We don’t have a violin to test this on, but maybe that’s for the best. So how about…” He searches the ground, then picks up two rocks. “We’ll start small.”

He softly clicks the two rocks together, and Vanya closes her eyes, trying to do  _ something _ with the sound. One, two, three seconds pass - “I don’t know what I’m doing,” she sighs. 

“Neither do I!” he yells, laughing, and then he clicks the rocks together, louder this time. Still nothing. 

“Maybe we should just give this up,” she says. 

“It’s never going to work if you think like that!” he insists, taking one rock in each hand and then, with all his might, crashing them together. One, two seconds and then - 

then there’s a  _ crack _ so loud that Klaus’ eyes glaze over and he’s pretty sure there’s gunfire all around his head and he’s weightless, soaring through the air until he’s flat on his back and staring at the sky and guns keep firing off and  _ ohmygod _ he’s been shot he’s going to die - 

 

**xii.**

_ Dave is shot.  _

_ Dave is dead. _

_ Klaus doesn’t - what’s he supposed to do, he’s not - he’s not leaving his body he just covers Dave from the gunfire and yells and sobs and -  _

_ then there’s a  _ bang _ and he’s back on the bus and it’s like it never even happened but it happened. It did. It was too real, Dave was too real to be the result of a drug trip. He’s sober. It was real and it happened and he’s sober _

_ isn’t he? _

 

**xiii.**

He’s shot and he’s going to die and he can’t breathe, and why won’t they stop  _ shooting _ , and why is he on the ground and he’s going to die. 

Someone yells his name, off in the distance, but the only voice he can latch onto is right next to him, whispering softly into his ear. “Klaus, you’re okay,” it says, and it sounds awfully like Ben. “It’s not real. You’re fine. You’re going to be fine.”

He’s sober and it was real and it happened, though, didn’t it?

“You’re not there anymore. You’re  _ not _ .”

And he wants to believe Ben so he tries, he tries to focus on the feeling of the grass underneath his body and the stillness in the air and the gutteral sound Vanya makes when she yells his name, and eventually, it’s not real. 

Slowly, his breath calms and he relaxes, just as Vanya reaches him and crouches next to him in terror. “Klaus, are you okay? I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I-”

With a shaking hand, he clasps hers in his and nods. “You didn’t - it’s fine.”

At this point, Vanya’s more terrified than he is, so he lets her stay by his side long enough for her to see that he’s  _ not dead _ and she didn’t bring another one of her siblings to the brink of life and death. Klaus hears the back door fly open, and Allison rushes out to meet them, frantically gesturing as to what happened. 

“I - I don’t really - I heard the sound and then I directed the sound back but it was so much more powerful and I knocked Klaus off his feet, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

Klaus finally sits up, refusing to let go of Vanya’s hand, to see that she knocked him back through the air several metres. “It’s fine, it really is,” he says. “It wasn’t you.”

“I - what?”

There are only a few moments in which Klaus has felt this vulnerable. He looks up, meeting Ben’s eyes. “You should tell them,” Ben says. When Klaus doesn’t respond, he follows up with, “You already know that, though. I’m always telling you things you already know.”

Well - yeah. He is. 

“After those two crazy assassins kidnapped me,” Klaus says slowly and very, very softly, “I stole their briefcase and it took me back in time to - to 1968.”

“You’ve been here before? By yourself?” Vanya says. 

“I landed right in the middle of the Vietnam War, and for almost a year I fought in combat and I - I lost someone very special to me.”

It takes a moment, but they begin to understand. “I’m sorry. I know how awful that is,” Vanya says, and Allison grabs his other hand in comfort.

He eventually will get around to telling Diego and Luther, but in this moment, surrounded by his sisters, Klaus feels his vulnerability start to strip away, and when he looks up, Ben and all the other ghosts are at peace for now. 

It’s all so confusing, but in this moment he feels perfectly at peace. 

 

**epitaph.**

Later that night, he’ll extinguish all the light in his room except for one candle, placed directly in front of him on the floor, and he’ll sit and  _ wait _ . 

“Klaus Hargreeves, it’s about time.”

And he’ll open his eyes and there will be Dave, and he will be sober and it will have happened and everything will be so, so real.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for staying and reading friend...u can find me on twitter @sapphictomaz if you're into that. pls talk to me i'm lonely. ok thanks have a wonderful day <3


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